Chapter 10
A Walk Through the Past
The light of the day extinguished
slowly as the hand of night spread over the land like a velvet cloak, wrapping
everything within it in a thick haze of black, and all was quiet. Nothing could escape this extreme darkness,
not even the light from the heavens above.
The sky was clear, still; not a dull cloud in sight, and yet the
luminescence from the stars could not penetrate through the still night air. Not even the moon shed its brilliant
light. The sky was a sea of endless
black space, just like time.
Time and space folded out in the
same plain of existence, and after a short time of gazing into the vacant sky
above, one would wonder where he was headed in terms of the cosmos, how much
did he really matter in this world. It
was like weighing one, single life against all others in an instant and seeing
how that life impacted others around him—all in one, easy look up. Perhaps destiny itself lay within those
continuous stretches of black, just waiting for each soul to question his
existence and path in life. Could
destiny be that heartless? How could a
simple life mean so little in the grand scheme of things and have to suffer the
weight of destiny as well? Maybe it is
fate’s hand that moves everything into place to follow the chosen path, even
the small and insignificant lives. Yet
how is one to know that the flow of destiny is right?
Exhausted, Kaori jumped into her
little green car and pulled out of Hisoka’s driveway. The PCM office was only about a 15 minute drive, still she felt
like she couldn’t get there fast enough.
Something had been bothering her ever since she met Hisoka for the first
time, something she couldn’t quite explain.
It was like trying to remember a dream from two weeks ago; without writing
it down in a journal, it is practically impossible to ever recall it
again. Whether or not these vague
feelings were all in her head, she knew something would be in the PCM archives,
just waiting for her to stumble across it.
It was just a matter of finding it.
As she arrived at the PCM
headquarters, parking in her own little space in the back parking lot, Kaori
stepped out of the car, closing the door as quietly as she could. The offices were closed and locked by this
time, but she didn’t think her superiors would mind an evening visit to the
library to research a case. Digging her
office keys out of her jacket pockets full of junk, she approached the door and
unlocked it. Once inside, she turned to
a small box-like thing on the wall with green lights that suddenly began to
blink as she entered the building.
Unlocking and messing with the security system was so much fun. Those who wanted to get some extra work done
during the day were often locked in once the big guys left, so each member was
given the code to turn on and off the alarm.
Even though this was a completely normal thing to do in her case, she
always felt as if she was “breaking” in, and the thought amused her. Raising her hand to the keypad, she punched
in the code to turn off the alarm; it would re-arm itself ten seconds later, a
loud beep signaling the countdown. With
all of that complete, she proceeded into the building and down the hall to the
right.
The place was deserted, which was to
be expected. All the dimly lit hallways
gave an eerie feeling to the entire building.
She never liked walking down these dark hallways at night, alone, even
if there wasn’t a single chance of someone being in the building with her. It was more of an insecurity issue more than
anything else. Reaching out to the
light switch, she flicked it on and all the lights down an entire hallway burst
into light. She continued down the hall
until she reached a room marked “Rm. 3737” —this was her office. With her keys still in hand, she unlocked
the redwood door and entered the small office on the other side.
What a dingy state she had left it
in. Papers and snack wrappings littered
her desk top, and since Aiko’s call earlier, she had rushed out the door
without even turning off her computer.
If the bosses ever found her little corner of their ruling area in this
shabby condition… She didn’t want to
think about the ifs. Not just yet.
Sliding some of the junk out of the
way, she swung her book bag on to the desk and looked inside. She didn’t even know why she brought it with
her to Hisoka’s place, but then when she rediscovered what book was in the bag,
she remembered why it was so important.
It was an old, leather bound book with a blue cover and a red back. It was so old that pieces of the leather had
started to flake off like chipped paint from the wear. The title of the book had worn off long ago,
only a few small indentations remained to show where the title had once been. As she held the book in her hands, she
slowed down her thoughts and closed her eyes for a moment, thinking maybe she
could tap into her family’s psychic ability that had been past down to each
generation, she might be able to sense something more about the book in
general: where it had been, who the author was, what connections the author had
to the writings inside. At first she
couldn’t feel anything from the book, but as she continued to concentrate, it
was as if someone turned on a light. She
could see a room full of old books, some burnt, ripped apart and others almost
brand new, with a large desk in the center of the room, surrounded by
bookshelves in each direction. Sitting
at the desk was an old man, pen in hand.
Could this have been the author?
Before Kaori could determine who the old man was, the vision faded into
the darkness and she opened her eyes once more. The lasting impression she could remember from the sight was the
time period this old man seemed to have been from. It wasn’t a recent time nor was it prehistoric but it was
somewhere lost in the middle, perhaps 200 years ago by the look of the quilted
pen and lit candle stick.
200 years ago? There was nothing recorded in the history
books that was anywhere near significant 200 years ago. Scooting her seat closer to her computer,
she opened up a search engine of all the books listed in the PCM archives. Going on nothing more than her hunch from
the short but detailed vision, she began the search, starting with the
date: 1899. It was the beginning of the 20th century, there was
the sinking of the Titanic, World War I and then World War II less than 50
years later. Nothing seemed to add up,
nothing fit the scenario in which she saw the man. Perhaps the date was wrong, but she was certain this book
couldn’t have been more than 200 years old.
“I don’t get it…” she said, surfing
through the database of over 100,000 different books in the library. “There should be at least something.”
But there wasn’t; not a single
thing.
Okay, so the age of the book had to
be incorrect. What else could she go
on? She didn’t get enough information
from the short vision to come up with another possible search possibility. She didn’t know the name of the author, the
place in which he wrote the book, the date it was written… The only thing that was left for her to do
was to open it up and start reading.
Kaori was never one to enjoy wasting
a couple hours reading a book, but the instant she pried open the cover once
again, she felt a strange connection to it, a growing fascination and
anticipation welling up within her. She
turned to the first page and read it straight through, no stops. And she read over 20 pages, again without a
single break. There wasn’t much of
anything interesting in the ancient pages, but as she hit the 45th
page, something odd stuck out in the writing.
It was almost as if the author had changed his point of view on the
topic, or perhaps it was an entirely different author. The first portion of the book talked about
everyday life in the village of Springbrook.
It started out almost like a story or novel, but then it suddenly
changed with the author’s influence. It
was like he wanted to correct what he had begun to say. Perhaps something so drastic happened during
the course of writing the book that he felt he had to change the whole plot of
the book to better fit the changing times.
Maybe this book wasn’t a novel either, but more like a detailed
journal. No matter the case, Kaori
continued reading, hoping to find an answer to why the voice of the book
changed so much.
There was a short entry made around
the 100th page mark that again stuck out like a sore thumb, only
this time the author spoke his own thoughts and words in the following lines:
I do not know if she can ever forgive me for what I have done. If I had not been so hasty to do away with the menace, then none of this horror would have befallen my people. What horror she must have seen that day in the courtroom! I know she still has recurring dreams about it that wakes her during the night. I worry about her. I fear that if nothing is done to ease her pain, I might lose her, too. Just like her elder sister, Youko…
These few lines of text were like a
distant though, almost like a dream that had been long forgotten. Kaori felt as if she knew these people
within the book, but she didn’t know how or why. How could she know these people that must have existed over 200
years or more ago? Still, the name
“Youko” pierced her mind, and she quickly closed the book. She was tired. That had to have been it.
She was tired and she was reading far too much into these last pages of
the mysterious book to make any sense of what it was really trying to tell
her. Looking up vacantly to her
computer monitor, she flipped the switch to turn it off. She stood and walked over to her office
door, turning off the light there as well.
Just as she left it before, she left it again: in a complete mess.
**********
It was a beautiful night outside; there wasn’t a cloud in the sky, the stars all shone brightly against the darkness, the air was still warm from the daytime sun, and hardly a soul was out on the road. It was perfect. Or at least that’s what Sakura had been thinking until she shook her head. What was she thinking? Or more importantly, what was she feeling? She had heard tales her classmates tell her about falling in love and how still the rest of the world seems. No, she was just… What, playing house? It was more than a simple crush, more than those countless other people that had popped into her life, but exactly how different, she didn’t know. It was just a deep-down feeling she had. Ever since she first set eyes upon Hisoka in Psychology class she felt something from him; it felt warm and somehow familiar. It was so pleasant just to be with him that she never wanted to part. Could she really falling for him? She grinned at the thought. Yes, perhaps this is what love feels like.
“You okay?” Hisoka said after the
long silence.
They had walked nearly half the
distance to Sakura’s home without a word, yet it wasn’t an uncomfortable
silence. It was very peaceful, just
like the open sky above their heads.
Hisoka had been in deep thought himself, focusing on that last vision,
that last burst of confusion. He was
certain the demon controlled what he saw and there was a reason for it. That being within him was like a parasite
under his skin, eating away at his mind, tearing him apart. If he could dig into his flesh and rip the
monster out of him, he would, but there was nothing to grab a hold of. The demon was in his mind and quite possibly
an elaborate figment of his mind at that.
He didn’t know why this was happening to him now. After all his studies in Psychology why
couldn’t he see it before? It suddenly
became obvious to him that he suffered from Disassociative Identity Disorder,
commonly known as Split Personality Disorder.
That demon in his brain must simply be a fragmented spirit of his own
personality. But still, none of that
mattered now. He could care less about
himself. The only thing that worried
him more than his own safety and sanity was that vision of Sakura… that awful,
hideous vision. Somehow, he must keep
that from ever happening.
The street was dark around this part
of town; the light posts were always out for some reason. A chill breeze began to blow as they turned
the last corner to Sakura’s house. That
was the point they both came to their senses.
“Hm? I’m sorry, what were you saying?” Sakura said, looking up at him
at last.
Hisoka turned his face away and
laughed. “You know, I think we both
could use a good night’s rest, don’t you think?”
“Heh, you said it! I’m just glad we don’t have school
tomorrow. How do you think you did on
that math test?”
Shrugging his shoulders, Hisoka
replied, “Eh, okay, I guess.”
“That was a stupid question. Of course you did fine. I’m just praying I passed it…”
“I’m sure you passed. I don’t think anybody could be that dumb—“
Sakura smacked his arm angrily. “—Oh!
So you think I’m dumb now!”
Turning away from him, she pouted to herself and refused to talk.
“Ohh c’mon, Sakura. I didn’t mean it that way!”
“And exactly which way did you mean
it? I know I’m stupid, but in math… I’m
the Princess of Stupidity.”
“You mean, Queen…”
This time Sakura hit Hisoka over the
head with both of her clenched fists.
“Shut up! I am the only one who
can bad mouth me.”
Drawing back and wincing like a
little baby, Hisoka held his arms protectively over his head. “Then why am I the one in such pain?”
Sakura scowled at him for some time
and then suddenly began to laugh hysterically.
“What? You think this is funny?” Hisoka said, trying to look as serious
as he possibly could. “Man, you
probably gave me a concussion…”
“You are such a crybaby!” Sakura
said, still laughing uncontrollably.
She stepped closer to him and started tickling him all over. “Aww, where’s it hurt, little baby?”
Hisoka fought to get away from
her. “Ahh! No! Stop! My head, my head!”
She thought it was too funny that a
man like Hisoka could act so childish.
She was having fun with this.
“What? You’re head hurts? Ohhhh, poor little baby’s got a booboo,
doesn’t he?” Finally she stopped with
the tickling torture and looked him straight in the eye. “Hisoka… what’s happening to us?”
Her sudden seriousness shocked
him. He didn’t know how to respond.
Sakura turned around and looked at
her house across the street. It looked
pretty dark inside, all the lights were turned off except for the porch light
that lit the path to the front door.
Soon this day would be over with.
Still there was something that she didn’t want to let go. After everything that happened in the course
of this one day, all the fear and pain, would everything go back to the way it
had been yesterday or the day before or the week before that or even a month
ago?
“Hisoka, I’m scared.”
What should he say to her? Was there even anything he could say to make her feel
better? She somehow got involved in his
own, personal problems that only he could take care of. He didn’t want her to feel responsible to
make everything all better.
“Listen, Sakura.
I don’t know what would have happened if you didn’t come to my place
tonight, but I’ll be all right. From
this point on, everything will be all right.
You don’t need to be worried about anything.”
Sakura turn around toward him with an angry look on
her face. “That’s not what I mean,
silly! I mean, my brother… If he finds out that I ran over to your
house…”
Hisoka stopped walking at the corner. “Whoa, wait a minute…” he said dumbfounded,
blinking. “You’re talking about
Kataki?”
“Who else would I be talking about? You?
You’re so self-centered!”
“No, no!
Really! Wh-what about Kataki?”
She frowned, not really knowing what to say or how
to even explain her brother to him. “I
don’t know. We’ve always been really close,
but ever since that accident, he’s been way overly concerned for me.”
“Concerned for you?” he said, looking up to the
house across the street.
“Yeah, don’t ask me why, but he’s always sheltering
me from people, as if the whole world exists just to hurt me or whatever.”
Instantly, Hisoka thought of that vision. If he could really end up a threat to
Sakura, Kataki would definitely step back into the picture and fight for his
sister’s safety. The thought of
fighting with Kataki brought about a strange sensation, an odd tingling in his
hands. He had always wanted to settle
the score with him, but now that Sakura’s involved… She loved her brother.
How could Hisoka ever think about hurting someone so close to her. It would break her heart.
“Kataki’s hated my guts ever since that day. I could feel it. Even when I wasn’t around, I could still feel his hatred for me…”
“Hisoka…” she looked at him sadly. “Even if you let him fall off that cliff…”
Let him fall off the cliff? What?
That’s not what happened. Hisoka
grabbed Kataki’s arm just as he was about to fall… It was the broken tree branch that caused the accident… Was Kataki blaming him all these years?
“What did you say?
I let him go?” Hisoka said completely taken aback.
“Well… that’s what happened wasn’t it?”
“No! I’d
never just let somebody fall to their death like that, not if I could do
something about it. Did Kataki tell you
this? Was he the one that said that?”
“Well…yeah, but Hisoka, he was the only one who
remembered what happened. Once you woke
up after the accident, you couldn’t remember a thing. Your mother thought it was best to move away while you
recovered… You’re telling me that
Kataki lied? He wouldn’t lie to
me! How can you be so sure that you
remember everything back then so suddenly?”
She was right.
He couldn’t expect her to understand how or why he could remember those
things all of a sudden, but it was true.
Back when his mother told him what had happened, it all came back to
him, the thoughts, the feelings, the pain. Everything. He couldn’t
understand how he couldn’t remember those things… His head injury had to have been the cause of his lost memory,
but then again… what was that feeling he had just before both he and Kataki
fell off the side of the cliff? In an instant,
the memory flashed back into view.
Hisoka was at the top of the mountain. Kataki lost his footing along a steep cliff
and began to fall. Hisoka turned and
saw him falling… He ran to the edge,
just short of falling from the cliff himself.
Kataki was holding onto a long, tree root that jutted out of the rocky
ledge. The boy was just far enough away
to make it difficult to help, but if he really tried, he could help him back to
the ledge.
In a dream-like state, Hisoka acted his own part as
he continued to remember more and more about the incident. Everything was in real time, as if it was
reoccurring all over again.
You can save him.
The voice was loud and clear. It was the first time it had ever spoken to
him, and Hisoka didn’t know what it was.
He looked around but didn’t find anyone about the scene.
Where are you looking? You want to save him, don’t you?
Then reach out your hand and save him!
“But he’s too far away. If I reach out too far, we’ll both fall.”
At that moment, Kataki looked up with unbelieving eyes at Hisoka, who seemed to be talking to himself. Hisoka was going insane! “Hisoka, dammit! Snap out of it! Help me!”
Hisoka heard Kataki’s cries for help, but he couldn’t move. It was as if he sprouted roots of his own that plunged deep into the earth below.
Don’t listen to him. Just listen to me. You have the power to save him. Just reach out your hand and take his life in your own. You can save him. You just need to think it, to believe it.
Instantly, Hisoka sprang back to life. He looked around for something to help get Kataki back over the ledge, but there wasn’t anything he could use.
Quickly, grab on to that tree branch.
The tree was the closest thing to the ledge and it would logically be the only thing he could even attempt to use. It could serve as his security when he reached for Kataki’s hand. Holding onto the branch, and leaning over the edge to the boy slightly below, Hisoka reached out his hand. But Kataki only stared back at him with eyes full of fear.
“No! Get
away from me! You monster!”
Monster?
What was he talking about? All
he was trying to do was help him… He
didn’t understand it, but as he reached out his hand, he felt something
odd. He felt all warm and his hand
seemed to glow a strong red color.
Don’t listen to him! Just reach down and save him! You have the power to do it, if you are willing to sacrifice a little of yourself to do it.
Sacrifice? No! There wasn’t enough time to dwell on the consequences! If Hisoka was to save Kataki, it must be done now! He ignored Kataki’s screams and curses as he reached down. He grabbed a hold of the boy’s hand and was about to pull him up when a splintering sound cracked in his ears. Suddenly, he found himself plummeting down towards Kataki and the ground below. No! That wasn’t supposed to happen! Now it’s all over. They’re both going to die.
Listen.
You can survive, if you believe.
You have the power to save both of your lives, if you’re strong
enough.
Tears began pouring out of his eyes. He didn’t know what to do, but he knew he had to try something before it was too late. He wanted to save Kataki more than himself. If Hisoka could help him survive the fall, then that would make him happy. Hisoka concentrated his mind on Kataki. Slowly a golden sphere began to form around the boy. The shield would protect him from any serious damage from the fall… but this was the first time Hisoka had tried to use this hidden power, if that’s what it was. He didn’t even know if it would work.
You are very noble to sacrifice yourself to save your enemy, but I cannot allow you to die yet.
From that moment on, everything turned black. He was still conscious, but he couldn’t see anything. His whole body went limp, and he could feel Kataki’s hand slip from his. Then a warm, tingly sensation moved all over his body. And then that was the end.
Not even one second passed from the time when the
memory sequence began. Hisoka was
shocked to finally know what really happened that day, but how could he ever
explain it to Sakura? If it would be so
difficult to simply tell her, how difficult would it be to tell Kataki? He wouldn’t ever listen to this story,
though. Not in a million years. He had already made up his mind and truly
believed that Hisoka intentionally let go of him. But Kataki could never answer why Hisoka would intentionally fall
off the side of the cliff just for the opportunity to kill him. Hisoka didn’t understand it and neither did
Sakura.
Hisoka looked away.
“Sakura, I don’t know how these things from the past are suddenly
resurfacing out of the blue like they are, but that’s just the way it is. I couldn’t remember anything about that part
of my life until my mother finally told me about it. I think that is the main reason why all this other stuff is
happening. I didn’t fall into that coma
or whatever that was until she told me her side of the Sakuba incident.”
“Her side of it?
Hisoka, if what you say is true, then… how different is your story
compared to my brother’s?” Hisoka
continued to look away without a word.
“Hisoka, tell me! You know I
have the right to know if he’s been lying all these years…”
Turning back to face her, Hisoka smiled. “Sakura, it’s really late, and you’re
right. Kataki would have a fit if he
finds us out here together. You’d hear
no end of it… Let’s talk about this
later, okay? I promise I’ll fill you in
on everything that I can remember, alright?”
From the looks of it, Sakura wasn’t about to give in
so easily, but then she sighed and nodded in answer. “Right, right. Okay,
then. I guess I’ll see you later,
right?”
“Sure, just as soon as you can think up a story to
tell your brother…”
She laughed, placing a hand on her head
stupidly. “Heeeehh, right… Don’t worry, I’ll think of something.”
“Good. In
the meantime, have a good night. And
thanks.”
Smiling, she turned and ran across the road. On the other side she turned around and
waved goodbye then continued running up to her house.
What a night!
Practically dying one second and then walking a girl home the next. Things couldn’t get much weirder than
that. Hisoka turned around and began
the trek back home. Now he would have
plenty of time to think about the “new” memories from Sakuba and his last
ominous vision. Just what ever 19 year
old wishes to ponder.
**********
Up in the dark living room window, Kataki stood for the entire time while Hisoka and Sakura spoke to each other. His eyes squinted angrily. Now she forced him to take further precautions to secure her safety…