Fragments
Weeks after the lightning incident, students and parents still looked upon Hisoka like a monster, something other than human. The rumor that had been spreading across the whole town said that the lightning really did strike the boy, but he was left unharmed by it because he was a demon, possessed by some unearthly power that enabled him to evade death’s grasp. Many believed this rumor, blindly accepting it as fact, and others were simply repulsed by it. Hisoka, on the other hand, didn’t care one way or the other.
As he sat in his frozen artic seat in psychology class, listening to an hour long lecture, he was vaguely aware of his diminishing consciousness as the class went on. Against his mother’s wishes the night before, he had stayed up nearly the entire night studying for a calculus exam 2nd hour. He knew the material pretty well, but that wasn’t the problem now; staying awake long enough to take the exam was.
A girl with bluish-green hair tied up in a long ponytail fondly watched as Hisoka proceeded to nod off during the lecture on REM sleep. She never thought to wake him up so he wouldn’t miss anything important for the upcoming exam next week. It didn’t even occur to her. He supplied her with too much entertainment to put an end to it so soon, but when he started talking in his sleep loud enough for others to begin staring, she couldn’t hold back her laughter any more.
Nudging him in his side with her elbow, she instantly awoke him from his minute slumber.
“Uhh! What happened?” he said, groggily.
Giggling quietly to herself, the girl replied, grinning, “You fell asleep, that’s what happened.”
Fell asleep? Fell asleep during class? How could he have done such a thing? He had never fallen asleep in class before in his entire life! But he had never been so confused about his life, either. He simply had too many things happening all at once. It was overwhelming.
He put his hand to his face in attempt to wake himself up, his hand shaking from lack of sleep.
“You know,” the girl said, “it’s clinically proven that lab rats die if they go too long without REM sleep. You shouldn’t feel so bad about falling asleep. You were only trying to stay alive.”
Hisoka laughed as he looked at the girl sitting next to him in the lecture hall. She was young and pretty. Her sky blue eyes appeared to glow in the darkness of the hall. A seemingly endless stretch of blue unfolded before him, and as he looked into the orbs longer, he felt as if he was losing himself in them. He was not only intrigued by her looks, but her first impression on him kept him wanting to talk to her all the more. And she was already beginning to show shades of her unique personality that he had never seen in a girl before. He liked her sense of humor, and it was exactly what he needed right now.
“Heh, thanks for the support. I’m gonna be so messed up for the exam next hour. If I can’t even stay awake for one lousy lecture, I don’t know how I’m gonna make it through the Calculus exam of all things.”
“Calc? I have a calc exam next hour, too. Who’s your teacher?”
“Dr. Uzuki, the formula preaching lunatic with half a pair of glasses. I wonder if he things he looks fashionable…”
“Haha, yeah! I’m in the same class! I wonder how I’ve never seen you in there before.”
Calc class… Ever since the lightning accident, he hadn’t felt quite right, almost as if he were going to be sick. And so he sat as far to the back of the room as he could. The other students around him said that the devil was in him and he sat near the exit in order to cast his dark shadow over the other students. Hisoka did have a dark aura about him, but that was nothing new. He couldn’t understand why people would go so far as to tell crazy, false lies about someone else. And what for? What would they get out of harming the reputation of another? It just didn’t make any sense to him. He could say something in his own defense, but he didn’t bother. It all seemed like a waste of energy to him to even think about changing other people’s minds, and so he sat in silence, alone and miserable.
“I don’t really like to talk much,” he said, looking away darkly. “Too many people think badly of me already, so why should I add to the mess by defending myself? I know who I am, and that’s all that matters, right?”
In mid-thought, she agreed. “I guess so…”
“Would the two in the back please be quiet until the end of the lecture?” Mr. Calbrina said, squinting back at them.
Again facing the front of the room with a dozen students on every side turning around to see what was the matter, Hisoka and the girl quickly ended their conversation as quickly as it had begun. This girl definitely knew how to get under one’s skin. In only a few exchanges, she was able to learn all kinds of things about Hisoka, and yet he didn’t know anything about her, not even her name. He decided he would ask for her name at the end of class, if he made it that long. Looking at his digital watch strapped on his right wrist, he read the display. It was only 8:35am with about 45 more minutes to go. He had fallen asleep in only 20 minutes or less. At this rate, he’d be sound asleep by the time class is over. Time was his enemy again, and he swore to himself that he would not embarrass himself by falling asleep again. He wouldn’t do that. He couldn’t.
But he did.
His book sliding off the little desk and crashing to the hard floor, Hisoka slumped over and dropped into the world of darkness once more. The girl beside him smiled, picking up his book. The book was well kept for a used psych text. Hardly any damage on the front or back cover and as she opened to the front of the book to see the signature written inside, what she found shocked her. This was Hisoka! Kenage Hisoka! Now she understood what he had said earlier, about keeping to himself. This was the mystic of the school, the one who was mysteriously struck by lightning out of the blue and lived to tell the tale. How could anyone live through that? The thought fascinated her. She was familiar with the reports about the freak weather that day and even looked into the government’s stand point on the whole issue. She hoped she would be able to talk with him some day, but she never imagined that they would meet in psych class! What a great day!
With only 20 more minutes left in class, the girl didn’t see the point in waking the sleeping student beside her. He was too peaceful looking while he slept, like a little child. She couldn’t desterb that kind of peace. But as the minutes swept by, the class bell finally rang, signifying the end of class.
Hisoka jumped in his seat and looked about him. He couldn’t remember where he was let alone what he was doing at the time. Students all around him were collecting their things and walking past him, out of the lecture hall. That was when he realized where he was. Psych class… He couldn’t remember anything that happened in the hour, either. All it seemed to him was an extremely short class period.
As he slowly began to wake up, he noticed his book was missing. Since he was certain books don’t just get up and walk away, he knew it had to be around somewhere. It must have fallen off his desk
“Looking for this?”
Even though the bell had already rang, the girl that sat next to him was still sitting in her seat. She held the ugly brown text book in her hand, holding it out to him to see.
Blinking, Hisoka reached out for the book. He opened it up and read the name inside. “Ah, yeah. Thanks. It must have…fallen off my desk…”
“While you were sleeping, I know,” she added, grinning teasingly at him. “You’re lucky you were able to get as much sleep in this class as you did, with Mr. Calbrina’s houndish voice… It’s really remarkable.”
“Heh, well I can tell you I didn’t enjoy the dreams of numbers and symbols dancing around in my brain.”
The girl laughed. “You were dreaming about calculus? Haha, I’ve never heard of anyone doing that before…”
Stretching his stiff back in his seat, Hisoka picked up his black bag, placing the psychology book next to his calculus book inside. After a moment, he stood shakingly to his feet, still blinking his eyes in the bright light.
“Eh, it’s not a first for me. I’m always having weird dreams.”
Eagerly standing to her feet next to him, her blue eyes flashing brightly, she said, “Really? I think that’s why I’m so interested in psychology. I love talking about dreams and why things are the way they are— don’t you?”
“I guess. It’s really not my strong point. Hey, you’re going to calc. 105, right?”
“Yeah, I am. Mind if I walk with you?”
“No, but we’ll have to hurry or else we’ll be late for the exam.” Stepping out of the row of chairs in the auditorium like lecture hall, he swong his bag around his left shoulder. Waiting for the girl to follow, he turned back to her. “I’m sorry. I’m not sure I know your name.”
Walking out of the hall together, she replied, “I’m Sakura, Ijiwaru Sakura.”
“I’m Hisoka. Nice to meet you.”
An awkward silence past between them as they fought their way down the school hallways on the way to room 105. From the lecture halls over in the 170 hall, they had to walk a good distance to their next class, practically on the other side of the building. It would take about 5-6 minutes to get there. During that time, the odd feeling of silence bettwen them faded as they continued walking down the hall, frankly because the hallways were always crowded with chatting students. Even if they decided to speak, they wouldn’t have been able to hear, anyway.
By the time they reached the classroom, the bell to begin class rang just as Hisoka stepped into the room, following Sakura. They quickly sat down in their seats.
“Today, as you know, we will be taking exam #3. Please remove your books from your desks, and have a #2 pencil ready to take the exam,” Dr. Uzuki stated as he fiddled with his odd pair of glasses upon his frail nose.
“#2 pencil?” Sakura thought to herself. She rumadged through her bag, hunting for a pencil other than her dozen #9 pencils, but could not find a #2. Leaning forward in her seat, she whispered to Hisoka, who sat in the next row over, “Hey, Hisoka, do you have another pencil I could borrow for the exam? I can’t find one…”
“Oh, sure.” He reached into his bag on the floor, produced an already sharpened, red pencil, and tossed it to her.
Catching the flying projectile and nearly dropping it, Sakura smiled and said, “Thanks! And good luck!”
He nodded to her just as Dr. Uzuki slammed an exam on his desk. “Enjoy,” he said. The calc teacher, doctor, was always way too excited and happy to delve into areas of mathematics. Many students thought he said “enjoy” before every exam just to be scarastic, but in truth, he really meant it. He enjoyed every aspect of math and science. And he often gave his students headaches over it all.
And at the time, that’s exactly how Hisoka felt. His head ached as if he had been hit with a large object. He couldn’t seem to focus well enough on the exam in front of him well enough to be able to read the words printed on it. Shaking his head, he closed his eyes for a moment. Why was he all of a sudden losing control? To even stay awake? It had to have been because of the long night before. There was no other logical reason for it.
Finally, with time, he was again able to see clearly, but his head felt numb. It no longer pained him like it had before, but he still felt a little uneasy. Forgetting everything else, he switched over to his math frame of mind, trying to recall abstract formulas and therums he had gone over the night previous.
Within less than 30 minutes, Hisoka finished the exam. And he had survived, too. Not only was he still breathing, but he felt rather confident over the outcome of the exam. He quiely picked up his things and left the room. He was the first to finish the exam.
Watching as he walked out of the room, Sakura suddenly remembered that today was a holiday, and school was over for the day after 2nd hour. She hadn’t talked with Hisoka much at all, and she was disappointed she couldn’t speak with him more. But then she had a thought. She could follow him home! But first she had to finish her exam. She only had three more questions to answer, so she filled in any answer that came to her mind first and raised her hand for Dr. Uzuki to pick it up. Before he even had a chance to walk over to her desk, she stood and ran out the door. There may yet be time to catch up with him…
**********
Slowly walking along the empty street, Hisoka casually held his bag over his shoulder, the wind blowing his feiry hair all about. It had been a while since he found himself thinking about everything that happened at school on his walk home. His sudden headache still bothered him. He couldn’t understand why it came over him so suddenly. Nothing like that had happened before. Ever since that one night under the stars…things began to change. He felt uneasy about everything that he did, as if there was a voice constantly whispering words of pain, anguish, and hatred to him. And he couldn’t shut it out of his mind, no matter what he tried. It would always be there.
He decided not to think of it, the simple memory of it made his eyesight blur and his headache return. Whatever happened back then was in the past, and he was determined to leave it there.
As he continued walking down the windy path, he walked by the home of the Hokage family. Their house was huge compared to all the rest surrounding it. It wasn’t very beautiful to look at; its window panes falling apart and the paint chipped and cracked with time. Each time he passed this house, he was reminded how much he felt like it. He didn’t have much of a reputation worth defending and yet he stood strong through all the torment and curses. He often wondered how much longer he could take it, before he snapped. Around the perimeter of the house, practically covering all sight of the building behind, stood a dozen or more cherry trees. Hisoka especially enjoyed walking by on windy days when the blossoms blew by, riding on the breath of the wind. But that was only in spring, and now they stood bare in the cold breeze. Normally the cherry blossoms would ease Hisoka’s troubled mind, but it was during these fridged seasons that he found little comfort in anything but himself.
Then again, he was happy to have met a nice girl in his psych class, of all places. Even though they hadn’t talked very long, he felt like he knew her from somewhere. Her name loomed in the corner of his mind like a black shadow, swallowing up the light. Ijiwaru Sakura, she said. There was something about that name, something he tried so hard to forget and erase from his memory. And he had done a good job of forgetting because he couldn’t come up with an answer.
For sake of taking a different route home, Hisoka turned the corner to the right, passing by the other side of the Hokage residence. As he continued down the sidewalk, he walked past the only dead cherry tree on the block, its limbs broken and lying ominously on the dark ground. Suddenly images of the past flashed in his mind. They were bits and pieces of a whole memory, and yet they were so vivid and real. It all happened so abruptly, he nearly lost his balance. His bag slipped from his quivering hand and fell to the still ground. Staggering into a sprint, he ran from his broken memory, both afraid and angered by its arousal. Yet the faster he ran, the more strongly the visions appeared in his head. It was that tree that triggered them, springing up like brown fungus in jagged soil, ripping and eating the ground away. He began to feel his heart beat in his head. He couldn’t see right and he couldn’t remember where he was going. Why was this happening to him? Why now? He was nearly finished with high school, why did this suddenly decide to show up now? Running until he couldn’t run any further, he fell to his knees and burried his head in his arms over a green bench along the edge of a small park. He didn’t know where he was nor did he care. All he knew was he had to forget. He couldn’t survive any longer with this partial, fragmented memory running chaotically through his mind. Crouched over the bench, he tried to slow his rapidly beating heart and ease his ravadged breath. He had to calm down. Or else he was really going to lose it.
**********
Walking down the sidewalk, Sakura cought a glimpse of Hisoka as he turned the corner in front of the giant house. She hurried after him, but as he turned the next corner, he dropped his bag and ran away. Stunned by his actions, she stood watching him run down the sidewalk for an instant. Did he know she was following him? Was that why he suddenly broke into a sprint? Even if that were the case, why would he carelessly leave his bag in the middle of the walkway? As she watched him sprint wildly down the street, she curiously approached his discarded school bag. Maybe he dropped it by mistake and didn’t notice. Whatever the reason, she knew he would eventually need his school materials some time down the road, like tomorrow. So she picked up the small, black bag and ran after Hisoka.
She followed his sporatic route through town, wondering all the way what pushed him into his mad dash to begin with. He appeared to be somewhat put together when she met him for the first time, even if he had fallen asleep in psych class. She couldn’t imagine what was wrong with him now. Following him into a small and vacant park full of cherry trees, their shedded petals covered the ground like a soft, pink blanket. Hisoka finally stopped his sprint and collapsed over one of the wooden benches that lined the side of the coblestone path through the park. She felt sorry for him, worried. He didn’t seem to be one with problems, but now it was obvious that something was not right, not right at all.
Walking up behind him, she said quietly, “Hisoka? You okay?”
Jumping defensively, he beat a dark, angered look at her. “What do you want?”
She stepped back, startled by his wicked response. Holding out his bag, she said, “I got done with the exam early and was walking home, and I-I found this left on the sidewalk. It’s yours right.”
His heart still pounded violently in his chest as he took the bag in his shaking hands. How could he let his own fear manipulate him into treating Sakura so badly? He didn’t mean to lash out at her. Standing for a moment then sitting on the bench with a sigh, he looked at her. “Look, I’m sorry. Something really weird just came over me.”
Looking down at him with eyes of concern, she said, “No, no, it’s all right. I didn’t mean to sneak up on you.”
Hisoka shook his head in response. She didn’t startle him nearly as much as those things, whatever he saw as he walked past the dead tree did. He couldn’t understand what was happening, so how could he ever begin to explain it all to her?
“It’s just that the weirdest things have been happening to me, things that I can’t understand, things that even Einstein Markman wouldn’t understand.”
Sitting beside him on the bench, Sakura spoke softly, “You mean about that lightning storm? How did you even—?”
“I said I don’t know!” he yelled at her.
Sakura flinched like a child jumping back from a rabid dog. The tone and look on his face frightened her and she didn’t know what to do or say.
Damn it, why was he yelling at her? She was provoking him to do it, to yell. He told her before he couldn’t understand what was happening, so why did she continue? Did she enjoy making him feel more helpless than he already did? He could hear his own questions swarming about in his mind and he couldn’t take it much longer.
Unsure of whether to be worried or angry, Sakura stared through Hisoka’s shaggy, red hair and on to his deep, green eyes. The second she peered into those eyes it seemed as if his complexion softened as he fought to calm himself. Sakura didn’t know what the matter was, but it was obvious that he was upset over something, and it wasn’t the calc exam.
Hisoka lowered his head in shame and tried to think of something to say. His head was spinning so wildly that he thought he would pass out. Closing his eyes tiredly to ease the downward spiral he had fallen into, he suddenly felt a sincere, warm-felt touch on his leg. Sakura still stared at him, not knowing what was wrong nor what to do about it, but she wanted him to know above all else that he wasn’t alone. Her peaceful eyes shone brightly blue as she reached out to touch his leg just above the knee, hopefully to spread her cheerful mood on to him and bring him back from the turbulent winds that howled in his mind.
“Hey,” she said. Hisoka still shut the world out of his own until he heard her sweet voice. “I don’t know what’s wrong, but don’t feel like you have to deal with it by yourself. I know this must sound weird from somebody you’ve just met, but… I feel as if I’ve known you my entire life. I consider you as one of my friends, so don’t think that I can just walk away from whatever it is that’s bothering you. I’m not one who can watch others suffer; I have to do something about it. But with you… I don’t know what to do. Normally I would at least have an idea of how to help, but that’s different now. And it confuses me. It’s like having a new computer without the instruction manual to know how to use it or even fix it when something goes wrong…”
Hisoka, still with his head down, grinned. “So you’re comparing me to a computer? That’s pretty funny, especially since I’ve never used one before.”
Shocked, stunned, Sakura glared at the redhead beside her. She couldn’t bring herself to speak for several seconds. “Ehh, well then… I don’t know how you’ve managed to get this far without even touching a computer… but it looks like you have… somehow.”
Laughing at both Sakura and himself, Hisoka raised his head again and peered into her blue eyes. He was really feeling much better as they continued discussing small and unimportant details about everyday life. The voices in his head silenced and he could see clearly again. Most importantly, whatever he was subconsciously trying to remember fled from his thoughts. And the fear—the fear! It was unbelievable how fearful he had been only a short time ago. But all that fear of the unknown melted away by Sakura’s warm personality. She had always been a pro for getting other’s minds off of things, disturbing and unwanted feelings. That was the only thing she knew to try on him.
But that peace was short lived.
From behind the row of benches, an unknown voice sounded, viciously articulating each, separate word. “Well, isn’t this a sweet reunion?”
Swinging around, the two looked to see whom the voice belonged to. It was a young man with dark, black hair tied in a ponytail halfway down his back; probably the same age as them both, around 18-19 years old. He wasn’t very tall or heavily built, but he was sly and cunning. He wore an old, black uniform that darkened his overall appearance, his fellow classmates dubbing him “The One in the Shadows.” He had been a star athlete up until 7th grade, when was involved in a serious accident that crippled his right arm. Ever since that day, his family decided it was best to move to another, larger city where he could possibly find better treatment for his disability.
“Kataki,” Sakura said, surprised. “What are you doing here? I thought you had another doctor’s appointment.”
Casually strolling around to the front of the bench the two were sitting on, the boy grinned darkly, showing no emotion at all. “I did. I was on my way back to school to take an exam I missed this morning, when I saw you two in the park. I wanted to surprise you.”
Letting out a great sigh, Sakura followed her gaze upon Kataki as he walked around the bench. She had felt the odd tension arise again in Hisoka’s mannerisms. He watched the two exchange bits of small talk and yet he remained silent, as if he was trying to remember where he had seen this man before. Sakura didn’t want Hisoka to start feeling overwhelmed again, so she stood before he could begin to think.
“Well, you’d better hurry then. We’ve already finished ours and I highly doubt that the teachers are going to spend all day waiting for one kid to come back from a doctor’s appointment just to take one test.”
Kataki grinned again and said, “They’ll wait. Anyway, I’ll see you at home, right? Unless you have other plans.” His gaze fell upon Hisoka, who shot his own dark glance back at him.
Hisoka had to have known this kid from somewhere, but where? He couldn’t remember. Something still bothered him, too. The voices in his head sounded again when this Kataki person appeared. Who was this guy and how did Sakura know him? And what did he mean when he said, “I’ll see you at home?” Did they know each other?
“Yip, I’m going back in a few minutes. I have some homework that I need to finish for tomorrow,” Sakura replied. “If you need any help carrying anything home after your finished, just call me, okay?”
He nodded. “Sure. I’ll see ya later.” Kataki started to walk away, then glanced back at Hisoka and added, “You too, Hisoka.”
That was it! Who was this guy and how did he know his name? The more he tried to remember, the more confused he became. The images that flashed before him as he walked past the broken cherry tree surfaced once again. He could feel his whole body heat with anticipation and…defense? Whoever this guy was, he definitely got a strange vibe from him, and not a good one at that. He’d have to watch this one. Even though Kataki was disabled, he still had the potential to put up a good fight if he had to.
“That was nice of him, don’t you think?” Sakura said, smiling happily as she watched Kataki leave the park. “After everything that’s happened.”
He was really confused now. After everything that’s happened? What was she talking about? Did these two remember something that he couldn’t or that his mind was fighting to keep hidden from him? He had to know, or else he’d go insane!
“Who was that? I’m so confused. Does he know you?”
Laughing, she gave him a funny look. “Well, of course he does. He’s my brother.”
“Your brother?”
Nodding, Sakura went on to explain. “Well, he’s not my real brother. He was adopted when we were both five years old. I guess my parents felt sorry for him. They said that his real parents abandoned him when he was really young. He was on his own for about two years before my parents found him. He even evaded the social workers, somehow; otherwise he would have been in an orphanage. Anyway, I’ve known him practically all my life, so he’s just like my real brother. He’s always been a little protective of me, too. That’s probably why he came up behind us.”
Hisoka looked down the path leading out of the park, the same way Kataki had gone. “But he said my name…”
“Uh-huh.” Sakura nodded again. “You know, this really amazes me. Don’t you remember him?”
“No… I don’t. Should I?”
“I would think you would. You two were rivals through all of grade school. My brother’s always tried to best you at everything, but he couldn’t. He was only good at sports.” She suddenly looked away sadly. She couldn’t bear to look at Hisoka now. “Ever since the accident… Kataki had to withdraw from all of the sports he was involved in.” She returned her gaze of concern upon Hisoka. “I think he still holds you responsible for what happened to him.”
Me? Again the vision of the broken cherry tree flashed in his mind, only this time several other images began to appear as well: a steep cliff, rocky terrain, a small boy about to fall off the edge. A sudden flood of emotions washed over him as he tried to recall. He felt drawn to the cliff, to help the boy from falling, but there wasn’t much he could do. He wasn’t afraid of possibly falling himself, but he couldn’t fight off the voices in his head. They were there then, too, telling him that he could save the boy— but how? The other boy was holding on by a small root of a tree on the edge of the cliff. Sooner or later the root would break. That’s when Hisoka seized one of the tree’s branches. He reached down and caught a hold of the boy’s right arm in his left. The tension was so great that Hisoka’s wrist was deeply cut on a jagged rock just to keep a hold of the boy’s arm. The next thing he heard other than the boy’s curses and pleas for help was the snapping of the tree branch. The limb broke and both of them plummeted to the bottom of the revine.
The surge of memory was too overwhelming to handle all at once. Hisoka tried to fight off the haziness in his eyes, but it soon wrapped around him tightly until all was black.